To the tune of Stan by Eminem
Peugeot Lyrics
Chorus: Dido
My tea's gone cold I'm wondering why I..
got out of bed at all
The morning rain clouds up my window..
and I can't see at all
And even if I could it'll all be gray,
but your picture on my wall
It reminds me, that it's not so bad,
it's not so bad..
Dear Peugeot, I wrote but you still ain't callin
I left my mobile, my work, and my home phone at the bottom
I sent two letters back in autumn, you must not-a got 'em
There probably was a problem at the post office or somethin
Sometimes I scribble addresses too sloppy when I jot 'em
but anyways; fuck it, what's been up? Man how's Peugeot?
My peugeot’s fucked too, I'm bout to torch her
If I buy another car, guess what I’m going buy?
I'm gonna buy a toyota
I read about your 307sw electrics too I'm sorry
I had a 307xsi that was slower than a lorry
I know you probably hear this everyday, but Peugeots 307 are shit
My 307 car discharges it’s own battery
It’s been back to the dealer more times than jack n kelly
I like the way you don’t seem to be able to fix my problems
Anyways, I hope you get this man, hit me back,
just to chat, truly yours, your angriest customer
This is Mark
{Chorus: Dido}
Dear Peugeot. you still ain't called or wrote, I hope you have a chance
I am mad - I think it's FUCKED UP you don't answer customers
If you didn't wanna talk to me outside your showroom
you didn't have to, but you coulda fixed the anti-pollution faults I keep gettin
I’ve been to trading standards too
They told me your cars are like poo,
I’ve been driving in this thing for 12 months
It’s done 12,000 miles and it’s given me the humph
The follow me home lights they work like crazy
They just won’t switch off there so lazy
They flatten my battery when my car is on the drive
So when I get in it it won’t start it dies
I never drove a car like this is my life;
This new multiplexing wiring is giving me so much strife
I can relate to what you're saying about your cars
But believe me this one was built on a friday
The builders couldn’t wait to get to the pub to have a few jars
My accelerator pedal sometimes doesn’t work
It just cuts out when I’m driving. it’s says fuck you turd
I know theres petrol in the car cause I just filled up
And now this anti pollution fault is back what the fuck is up?
My girlfriend's jealous cause I spend more time at the garage
But she don't know you like I know you Peugeot, no one does
She don't know what it was like for people like us driving
You gotta call me brian, I'll be the biggest customer you'll ever lose
Sincerely yours, Mark-- P.S.
you should just issue me a refund too
{Chorus: Dido}
[Eminem as 'Stan']
Dear Mister-Peugeot-I'm-Too-Good-To-Call-Or-Write-My-Customers,
this'll be the last letter I ever send your ass
It's been six months and still no word - I don't deserve it?
I know you got my last two letters;
I sent the mothers recorded!
So this is my court summons I'm sending you, I hope you read it
I'm in the car right now, I’ve got a Catalytic Converter Fault believe me
This is the eighteenth time I’ve seen this fucking message
I took it back for them to reinitialize the adapters
all I wanted was a lousy letter or a call
I hope you know I ripped +ALL+ of your brochures off the wall
The new 407, the 307cc every single one of them
I loved you Peugeot, we coulda been together, think about it
You ruined it now, I hope you can't sleep and you dream about it
And when you dream I hope you can't sleep and you SCREAM about it
I hope your conscience EATS AT YOU and you can't BREATHE without me
See Peugeot; {*thump*} Shut up bitch! I'm tryin to talk!
Hey Peugeot, that's my suspension thumping in the trunk
That another problem I have with this piece of junk
Could you look at that when I bring it in too
Well, gotta go, I'm almost at the garage now
Oh shit, I forgot, how'm I supposed to send this shit out?
{*car tires squeal*} {*CRASH*}
.. {*brief silence*} .. {*LOUD splash*}.. {*ANTI pollution fault*}
{Chorus: Dido}
[Peugeot]
Dear Mark, I meant to write you sooner but I just been busy
You said your cars fucked again, how fucked up is she?
Look, I'm pissed off you want to buy a toyota
Their cars are great they just work like they oughta,
I ‘m sorry I cant issue you a refund
Cause that means you’d walk off to the competition
I know we don’t have a fix for you car
But you can keep bringing it to us every month, it aint that far
I’m sorry to hear it’s that now mir-firing,
I can’t believe our engineers haven’t been fired yet
You got some issues Mark, I think you need a replacement
to help your ass from bouncing off the walls when your 307 breaks down
And what's this shit about trading standards?
Is it because we couldn’t help you or because we ignore you
I really think you and your car need a service
But just don’t wash it cause you may get another anti pollution message
I hope you get to read this letter, I just hope it reaches you in time
Before you take us to court and we end up with a fine
You’d think we’d want to help you but we don’t
To us its just another one of our cars that’s fucked
I seen this one guy on our database a couple weeks ago that made me sick
Some dude was so pissed off he turned off the ASM/ESR so that he could skid
and he had his tow rope in the boot, it was there for towing this piece of shit
and in the car they found a cd, but they didn't say who it was to
it was a complaint song to Peugeot he had wrote.. come to think of it, it was you
Damn!