Weekend Micro-Meet (From the viewpoint of a nutcase)

CB · Post by CB » Sun Apr 13, 2003 9:05 pm

Micro-Meet

The Cast
(The names have been changed to protect the innocent - and not so innocent)

CB (Me!)
er...Juliet
er...Paula
er...Stefan

The Cars
1 x Aegean Blue CC
1 x Silver CC
1 x VW Beetle
1 x Smashed up Rover 25

The Location
Paula and Stefans house

The Observations

1. Some nob in a Merc smashed into the front of my (stationary) car as i was pulling out to drive to the meet.

2. I was severely unimpressed.

3. There was nearly some unpleasntness.

4. I arrived at the secret meet location and met up with Juliet.

5. We went to Sainsburys for barbeque food.

6. Sainsburys were doing FREE samples of Stella!

7. I sampled free Stella. Then beat Juliet up.

8. We went to Paula and Steves house.

9. It is crazy, its upside-down for a starter! This means you go to bed by going downstairs and the living room is upstairs

10. They have "wipe clean floors"

11. Paula has a lovely pussy.

12. Called Pepper

13. and another one called Oakley

14. and another one called Willow

15. Pauline is "Catweazle"

16. I introduced Steve to the delights of Lager mixed with Cherry Tango.

17. He wasn't that impressed. (Try it gang!!!)

18. We played 'Swingball' in the garden.

19. I am crap at it.

20. We had a lovely barbeque.

21. It was cold outside.

22. I introduced Juliet, Paula and Steve to Halloumi.

23. It is a Greek cheese, not my other Meditterenean girlfriend.

24. Unfortunately.

25. For those of you who aren't familiar, Halloumi doesn't melt like normal cheese. It is gorgeous. It is known as "squeaky cheese" because it squeaks in your mouth as you eat it.

26. Stefan thought this was the FUNNIEST thing in the world!

27. We drank more beer.

28. We watched some of Harry Potter and the Wizards Sleeve.

29. Then we turned it off.

30. Juliet falls asleep VERY easily.

31. I have that effect on women.

32. We drank more beer.

33. Then it was bedtime.

34. We got up at 4am!!!!

35. 4am!!!!!!!

36. There's a 4am!!???!!!

37. Me and Juliet saw a BMW smashed up lying on its side after piling out of a roundabout.

38. We stopped and checked for survivors/dead people

39. There was no-one there

40. I picked up my smashed up car and drove to work.

41. Where i put in a 13 hour day.

42. Which was crap.

43. And i forgot to eat.

44. I had a fantastic day.

45. Thankyou, Paula and Stefan....and, of course, Julia....

Brought to you by the Crazy World of CB...A CB Production

Aimee · Post by **Aimee** » Sun Apr 13, 2003 9:17 pm

CB, your meet reviews/bullet-points never cease to make me laugh!!!

Sorry to hear about your car!

CB · Post by CB » Sun Apr 13, 2003 9:20 pm

Oh its only about Â£1000 + worth of damage (my mates tell me today!) Luckily i'm protected no-claims but i do have a Â£150 excess on my polincy

ooh, now i come to think of it, my neck is rather sore and stiff...must see a doctor in the morning...

Glad you enjoy my surreal take on this sometimes too serious world we live in....

Aimee · Post by **Aimee** » Sun Apr 13, 2003 9:26 pm

Crikey, 'only' and 'Â£1000' in the same sentence!!!

Someone crashed into my Golf last summer, reversed into me when I was stationary and tried to blame me, it ended up going to court (lucky for legal cover!!).

Was quite funny as basically the judge (or whatever hes called) said "unless your car travels sideways Miss we don't actually have much of a case here Mr Mercedes is to blame", woohoo! lasted all of 10 minutes, 'smug me'

Julia · Post by **Julia** » Sun Apr 13, 2003 9:32 pm

HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA cracking report CB!

CB · Post by CB » Sun Apr 13, 2003 9:43 pm

just stating the facts ma'am!

Julia · Post by **Julia** » Sun Apr 13, 2003 9:58 pm

You missed a few out!........

-The swingball incident where I decided to let go of the racket after I hit the ball

-The fact our clothes stank of a bonfire (Steves idea of keeping warm on the patio!)

-Leaving raw chicken out on the side in the spamspam forgetting the cats would have a feast! Funnily enough they ate the lot!

CB · Post by CB » Sun Apr 13, 2003 10:02 pm

Hee hee.....I left PLENTY out....

Mr_AWOL · Post by **Mr_AWOL** » Sun Apr 13, 2003 10:55 pm

1. Some nob in a Merc smashed into the front of my (stationary) car as i was pulling out to drive to the meet.

Either you were stationary or pulling out - make up your mind CB!

9. It is crazy, its upside-down for a starter! This means you go to bed by going downstairs and the living room is upstairs

I looked at a house like this, but didnt buy it because i didnt like the thought of the missus asking the washine machine repair man to follow her upstairs!

10. They have "wipe clean floors"

Hope you never come to my house and tell everyone about my "wipe clean" PORN!!

16. I introduced Steve to the delights of Lager mixed with Cherry Tango.

Not really related but do they still do tizer ice?

36. There's a 4am!!???!!!

I'll beleive it when i see it!

CB · Post by CB » Mon Apr 14, 2003 5:53 am

1. I inched out of a parking slot to get better visibility in a crowded residential area. I saw the Merc about 15 feet away. I stopped. I looked at the driver. He looked at me. He carried on coming. He hit me. Therefore, I was pulling out, but at the time of impact, was stationary.

9. Ok...

10. Wipe-Clean porn? Hmm, does this mean you have wipe clean curtains too?

16. Tiger Ice does in fact, still exist.

17. 4am is unfortunately, all too real...

wheel repair it · Post by **wheel repair it** » Mon Apr 14, 2003 6:03 pm

What i want to know is ,Has CB in his forces position invaded JULIA yet

if not,then y not,a occupation is in order i think very soon.

come on,u know it makes sense

rob · Post by **rob** » Mon Apr 14, 2003 6:20 pm

we are trying to get the next of these mini meets to be sponsored by

This will enable invasion without residual occupancy

CB · Post by CB » Mon Apr 14, 2003 6:22 pm

@ Rob....

Wondered how long it'd be for you to show yourself!

Now wheres Cilla at!

Pauline · Post by **Pauline** » Tue Apr 15, 2003 7:56 pm

-The swingball incident where I decided to let go of the racket after I hit the ball

-Leaving raw chicken out on the side in the spamspam forgetting the cats would have a feast!

The first one means... Julia smashed up my apple tree with a bat while missing the ball completely

I warned her not to take her eye off the ball

And I'd forgotten about the chicken incident! We *did* manage to rescue some (to stop them pigging on it all in one go, then puking on our wipe-clean floors) so we hid it in the oven

And we hid it so well in fact, that Steve only found it just now! OMG

The industrial strength jos-sticks are burning tonight

Thanks dooods for a most entertaining evening. And for not wheel spinning outside our house at 4am

Sorry I wasn't awake to make you coffee NOT! hehe Thanks for my creme egg, I ate another 3 in your honour on Sunday

CB · Post by CB » Wed Apr 16, 2003 8:01 am

Thankyou again for the hospitality, was gonna wake you but decided we didn't want to risk seeing what you and Steve looked like at that time of day!