If it's called lipstick why don't your lips stick together?
If oranges are called oranges why aren't apples called greens?
Why don't ice cream vans melt?
Anyone else know any dumb questions?
What does cheese say when it's having its photo taken?
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CB
- Posts: 4312
- Joined: Mon Apr 08, 2002 1:00 am
- Location: Classified
1. If they turn dead horses into glue, why aren't they sticky to the touch?
2. Why is "Dyslexia" such a hard word to spell?
3. Why did kamikaze pilots wear crash helmets?
4. Why don't they make mouse flavoured cat food?
5.If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
6.If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
7.Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?
8.When sign makers go on strike, is there anything written on their signs?
9.If you throw a cat out the window, does he become kitty litter?
10.What do you do if you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
11.If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?
12.If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he naked or homeless?
13.Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
14.Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
16.If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
17.Why do they sterilize the needle for a lethal injection?
18.Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
19.Why is there an interstate in Hawaii?
20.Why is abbreviation such a long word?
21.If you choke a smurf, what color does he turn?
22.How does a blind person know when he's done wiping his arse?
23.Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an S in it?
24.What was the greatest thing before sliced bread?
25.Do crematoriums give discounts to burn victims?
26.Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
27.Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?
28.Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
29.How is it possible to have a civil war?
30.If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
31.If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
32.If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
33.If you're born again, do you have two belly-buttons?
34.If you ate pasta and antipasta, would you still be hungry?
35.If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
36.Why are piles called "haemorrhoids" instead of "asteroids"?
37.Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?
38.Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
39.If the Black Box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of the stuff?
40.Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
41.If most car accidents occur within five miles of home, why doesn't everyone just move 10 miles away?
42.How come wrong numbers are never busy?
43.Do people in Australia call the rest of the world 'up over'?
44.Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
45.Why is it that night falls but day breaks?
46.Why is the third hand on the watch called a second hand?
47.Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
48.Can you buy an entire chess set in a pawn-shop?
49.Do pilots take crash-courses?
50.Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?
51.Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
52.How can there be self-help "groups"?
53.Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift?
54.Do PG Tips employees take coffee breaks?
55.How did the fool and his money get together in the first place?
56.How do you know when it's time to tune your bagpipes?
57.How is it that a building burns up as it burns down?
58.What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
59.Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds" fee on money they already know you don't have?
60.If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
61.In a country of free speech, why are there phone bills?
62.How do "Do not walk on the grass" signs get there?
63.If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?
64.Did Noah keep his bees in archives?
65.How does a Thermos know if the drink should be hot or cold?
66.How does the guy who drives the snowplough get to work in the mornings?
67.If a word in the dictionary is misspelled, how would we know?
68.Why do tourists go to the tops of tall buildings and then put money into telescopes
so they can see things on the ground close-up?
69.Why do we kill people for killing people to show that killing people is wrong?
70.Why is it that bullets ricochet off of Superman's chest, but he ducks when the gun is thrown at him?
2. Why is "Dyslexia" such a hard word to spell?
3. Why did kamikaze pilots wear crash helmets?
4. Why don't they make mouse flavoured cat food?
5.If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
6.If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
7.Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?
8.When sign makers go on strike, is there anything written on their signs?
9.If you throw a cat out the window, does he become kitty litter?
10.What do you do if you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
11.If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?
12.If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he naked or homeless?
13.Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
14.Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
16.If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
17.Why do they sterilize the needle for a lethal injection?
18.Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
19.Why is there an interstate in Hawaii?
20.Why is abbreviation such a long word?
21.If you choke a smurf, what color does he turn?
22.How does a blind person know when he's done wiping his arse?
23.Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an S in it?
24.What was the greatest thing before sliced bread?
25.Do crematoriums give discounts to burn victims?
26.Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
27.Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?
28.Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
29.How is it possible to have a civil war?
30.If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
31.If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
32.If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
33.If you're born again, do you have two belly-buttons?
34.If you ate pasta and antipasta, would you still be hungry?
35.If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
36.Why are piles called "haemorrhoids" instead of "asteroids"?
37.Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?
38.Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
39.If the Black Box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of the stuff?
40.Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
41.If most car accidents occur within five miles of home, why doesn't everyone just move 10 miles away?
42.How come wrong numbers are never busy?
43.Do people in Australia call the rest of the world 'up over'?
44.Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
45.Why is it that night falls but day breaks?
46.Why is the third hand on the watch called a second hand?
47.Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
48.Can you buy an entire chess set in a pawn-shop?
49.Do pilots take crash-courses?
50.Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?
51.Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
52.How can there be self-help "groups"?
53.Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift?
54.Do PG Tips employees take coffee breaks?
55.How did the fool and his money get together in the first place?
56.How do you know when it's time to tune your bagpipes?
57.How is it that a building burns up as it burns down?
58.What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
59.Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds" fee on money they already know you don't have?
60.If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
61.In a country of free speech, why are there phone bills?
62.How do "Do not walk on the grass" signs get there?
63.If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?
64.Did Noah keep his bees in archives?
65.How does a Thermos know if the drink should be hot or cold?
66.How does the guy who drives the snowplough get to work in the mornings?
67.If a word in the dictionary is misspelled, how would we know?
68.Why do tourists go to the tops of tall buildings and then put money into telescopes
so they can see things on the ground close-up?
69.Why do we kill people for killing people to show that killing people is wrong?
70.Why is it that bullets ricochet off of Superman's chest, but he ducks when the gun is thrown at him?
[img]http://bluntman.d2.net.au/newsmilies/brick.gif[/img]
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Vanda
- Posts: 1389
- Joined: Wed Feb 12, 2003 7:02 pm
- Location: Nottinghamshire
Yeah but you missed out:
Why is the word dictionary actually in the dictionary? If you wanted to spell it you could look on the front cover and if you wanted to know what it meant how would you know to look in there?
And a personal fave of mine....
If a cat has a slice of toast, butter side up strapped to its back and you threw the cat out of the window, would it still land on its feet?
Why is the word dictionary actually in the dictionary? If you wanted to spell it you could look on the front cover and if you wanted to know what it meant how would you know to look in there?
And a personal fave of mine....
If a cat has a slice of toast, butter side up strapped to its back and you threw the cat out of the window, would it still land on its feet?
[url=http://www.peugeot206cc.co.uk/newowners?id=434]Owner434[/url]
Sex alleviates tension.....love causes it!
Sex alleviates tension.....love causes it!