Well, I did via text message but he said he was going to Bristol with his bird. So he wasn't there. But we were. So there we were sitting in the sun with pints of orange juice and lemonade (the choice of winners on hot days like this) enjoying a lovely (if slightly overpriced) meal of chicken and bacon salad with some crusty bread. We discussed various topics including "Why the hell Greenday needs a windstop for his car - he clearly has no hair" and "why we didn't go to the Bluewater meet" and "how jealous are we of Julia being on holiday in Barbados". I tried to demonstrate to Riss and Cappy a great game I have invented during this spell of gorgeous weather we're having.
I have spent a bit of time recently in pub beer gardens (I highly recommend "The Riverside" in Lechlade-on-Thames...as the name suggests it is by the river and they have a different brand of bottled beer for sale for £1 all day every day. This weeks choices included Amstel, Becks, Castlemaine XXXX, Labatts and Fosters. I didn't go to said pub on Tuesday so can't tell you wat they had on. There is also a bridge to jump off into the river if you need to cool down. Yay!) Anyway, I digress. While sitting in pub beer gardens recently I have invented a new game I like to call "Wasp Aquarium". The game is thus: Finish drinking your pint. Then turn the glass upside down until a small amount of liquid is deposited onto the pub bench. Now wait for a wasp to land and start enjoying your sticky deposit (ooh-er) Now trap the little bastard under an upturned pint glass. The other night I managed to get 3 under one glass (not at once either) They went MENTAL!!!
Now, here is where the game can differ. If it is a really hot day, the upturned glass asks as a mini-sauna and the average wasp will take about 3 minutes to die. That'll learn 'em! If on the other hand it is an overcast day, or evening time, they will stay alive indefinitely. This is great entertainment, especially if you've got more than one under there!! The only person I imagine not impressed by this is the poor girl who comes round to collect the glass after you've left the table and releases a very pissed off wasp into her immediate area!! 
To add variation to the game, at one point during the week I managed to slip my mates mobile phone under the glass with a wasp and then rang it to see if the wasp wanted a chat. The wasp went SPASTIC! Hee hee.
Anyway, although there were wasps around today in the pub beer garden, none were in the mood for being trapped so Cappy and Riss had a theory lesson instead. All in all we had a very pleasant afternoon. And Riss was wearing pink combat trousers. Which will come in useful if we ever go to war with Elton John, George Michael, Right Said Fred and the little faggot from Boyzone.
Thanks for listening.
CB
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